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I feel like I’m in high school for even writing this but I’m confused. Recently he told me that he wanted to be friends and was not ready for a relationship. I let him know that I wish it could have gone further but I respect the honesty and I’m ready for something serious. Yet, this is becoming a pattern for me in my dating life. In Toni’s story, she believes that this guy is INTENTIONALLY FUCKING WITH HER. I stopped sleeping with him, limited my contact, and started dating other people. He wants my time on holidays, he’s popping up at my house if I don’t call him back right away, and gets mad when I enlist other men for help. In my version (and most likely, the guy’s version), he has NO IDEA what he wants from Toni. The pre-existing pattern to base the potential between you two might not matter. Though I’m very much an independent, career-oriented, “modern woman,” I still have very traditional views on dating and courtship… In the end, how it all plays out is as simple as this: It was a great date; you felt chemistry and lust, but he did not. Unfortunately, now you’re left wondering how soon you should text your response… As a marketing nerd, let me just say this does NOT work for me. I like being able to anticipate traction and success to a certain degree. You’ll move onto the next man, but you will always wonder what happened.

They see how wonderful he is and constantly tell you how lucky you are. It doesn’t matter how much he cozies up to those you love. He’s afraid you’ll dump him for someone hotter or better. All you have to do is know how to play him right back. Instead, make it obvious you know what’s going on and put him back in his place.If it doesn’t go well, you would expect it to lesson or stop altogether. As a “modern woman,” you begin to wonder if you should simply take the bull by the horns and text first. Keeping it relevant to texting, however, the lack of it can appear to be a lack of interest when in reality, the man is simply a grown-up with a big-boy job, not much time, and no appreciation for the art of texting. I’m not going to bullshit you and say, “From now on, I’m going to take control and text first.” Puh-lease… When it’s right, it’s right and there won’t be these confusing mind games… However, if mind games are being played, or both parties happen to have a stubborn streak, the lack of texts on the day after the first date might not indicate the success of the date at all. You start googling things like “after first date texting rules” and “should a girl text a guy first.” You read a Reddit thread like this one and realize maybe you were in the wrong because you never texted to make sure he got home safe and now you just look like a bitch. This makes it even more difficult to decipher if he’s just really busy or just not that into you. Was it because you mentioned you like British comedy? After 72 hours of spiteful, frustrated venting about this jerk that you barely even enjoyed hanging out with, you light up at the first sight of his text and all hope is renewed. While both sexes should just be up front and honest, mind games happen and if you’re an unsuspecting woman, it’s time to learn to recognize when he’s just playing you so that you can win whatever game’s on the table. He knocked over your favorite knick knack and shattered it. He seems like the victim when all along, he’s the one orchestrating the whole thing. Nothing will piss him off worse and throw him off his game than showing him he can’t play your emotions so easily. To win, dump him and let him have his other options. You’ll often see this one played alongside the perfect guy game. The whole idea is to guilt you into doing whatever he wants. Only do things with him if it’s something you want to do. He makes you feel competitive and makes you jealous. After all, once you know what’s going on, it’s pretty easy to counter him and beat him at his own game. If you just go along with what he wants to do, he promises to do whatever you want to do later. He’s great at making those deals, but he never delivers. He might even claim you didn’t completely follow through originally. The next time he asks you to do something, refuse unless he does something with you first. Instead of apologizing, he blames you for putting it too close to the edge of the shelf. He’ll pretend to be everything you want until he has you hooked. He’ll still be perfect in front of your friends and family. We all have this tendency to go after the guy who doesn’t seem to care. Of course, you could always flirt with other men first and remind him what’s he’s losing before you say goodbye. You don’t owe him anything, especially if he’s lying and playing mind games. You want to keep him, so you oblige and try to outdo her.

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